Why Does GateWay Matter?

Last week, a woman came to tour GateWay. She was impressed with our unique atmosphere and seemed surprised by all the things we do to help hurting women.

“I didn’t know about you,” she said, “but I’m so glad now that I do.”

As we seek to promote GateWay and let more women know about our services, it’s important to answer the question, “Why does GateWay matter?”

Why do we work so hard to tell churches and organizations about our services? Why do we seek to help women who have been abused, divorced, suffered a loss or felt over-committed?

Why does GateWay matter?
• Because women matter to God. He created male and female in his image and he gifts women with abilities to make a difference in their communities, their churches and their homes.

• Because women are half the church. Think about how many programs in your church are developed, organized and serviced by women. Without healthy women to do that, the entire church suffers.

• Because a woman who is living within her authentic, created self serves God and others with freedom and joy. She has the capacity to her world and to join other women to nurture and influence another generation as mothers, teachers, writers and within thousands of other vocations.

• Because Jesus valued women. The Almighty Son of God included women in his band of followers, allowed women to learn directly from his divinely-inspired self and placed women in church bodies with unique gifts to share.

• Because women need to know they are cared for. Women have an all-inclusive capacity to nurture everyone in their networks, but they often forget to take care of themselves. At GateWay, we care for women and we show them how to care for themselves through our counseling, groups, prayer ministry and coaching.

• Because women often don’t feel safe enough to share their pain within their own churches and networks. They need a safe, encouraging place to go for counseling, groups, prayer and coaching.

• Because we are women helping women, and we understand.

Why does GateWay matter? Ask the 163 women we served during our last fiscal year.

Ask the women who learned they can set boundaries and protect themselves. Ask the women who saw miracles happen in their families and the women who allowed themselves to finally grieve that long-buried loss.

Ask the women who started over and found purpose and fulfillment within changed lives. Ask the women who finally felt loved and became the incredible women God created them to be.

GateWay matters because women matter, and that’s why we’re here.

2013 GateWay of Hope Ministries – The Helping Place for Hurting Women

Stop Settling

We do it to ourselves more than we realize.

We marry the guy who asks us because we don’t think anybody else is coming along and after all – we’re not getting any younger. So we settle for a relationship we should never have stepped into and then grieve when it dissolves.

We buy a house we don’t really want and spend money we don’t really have, because we can’t find exactly the right place and we’re desperate to own our own home.

We take the first job offered to us because we need some money to pay the bills, even though we know it isn’t a good fit. Then we stay there for years and years because we’re afraid of trying something new.

Sometimes we settle because we don’t really know what we want. We’re just grasping for something to fill the holes inside.

Sometimes we settle because we’re comparing ourselves to another woman, forgetting that she probably settled, too.

But usually we settle because we’re afraid of doing the hard work. We don’t want to wait for that right guy or that right job because we’re afraid if we don’t choose something, we’ll lose our chance.

We’re afraid to fail and sometimes we’re afraid to succeed.

So we settle. Then we hate ourselves and the situation we’re in, because once again – we’ve settled for something or someone we don’t really want.

So how do we stop settling?

Ask yourself – do I really want this relationship? Is this the best guy for me? Do we share the same core values?

Do I really want this house / this job? Do I believe life can be better than just settling?

Can I make a better choice that reflects who I really am and find happiness within that choice?

Wait for the best and don’t settle for anything less.

After all, God sent His best for you – His perfect and only Son. And God has a wonderful plan for your life. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you.

2013 GateWay of Hope Ministries – The Helping Place for Hurting Women

Are You Kidding?

For women who are hurting, one of the most difficult issues is forgiveness.

How can I ever forgive this person who has hurt me so deeply?

How can I forgive when he isn’t even sorry?

If I can’t forget, then how can I truly forgive?

No easy answers here, and we offer no simple platitudes. Forgiveness is truly one of the most difficult issues for any of us, and we may spend our lifetimes going through the process over and over.

But we know that forgiveness – at least at some level – is healthy for us; mentally and physically. Because if we refuse to walk toward forgiveness, we can easily slip into bitterness and retroactive anger – both of which can kill us.

So if there aren’t any easy answers, then how do we forgive?

One way to begin the process is to pray for the person who has hurt us.

Are you kidding?

No. In fact, praying for those who have abused us or hurt us in any way, is one of the commands Jesus gave us in the Sermon on the Mount. He said, “I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves” (Matthew 5:44 The Message Bible).

We don’t ever have to trust our abusers or allow them back into our lives. We can’t forget what they have done to us, because we’re not God and we don’t have that kind of power.

But we can begin to pray for them, that God will do a work in their hearts, that they will understand what they have done and be sorry for it, that they will change and start over with a new attitude.

And we can pray for ourselves – that God will change us into grace-filled women who speak and act from confident hearts, no longer hampered by unforgiveness.

What about you? How have you chosen to forgive?

2013 GateWay of Hope Ministries – The Helping Place for Hurting Women

What If …

How many of us get stuck in the question, “What if…?”

What if I set boundaries and protect myself? Will my family stop loving me?

What if I lose that weight / write that book / take that risk? Am I afraid of success?

What if I start doing the things on my bucket list?

What if I take the first step?

What if I conquer that fear?

We are not alone in the “What If” questions of life. In Exodus 4, we read the story of Moses and his “What Ifs.” God called to Moses out of a burning bush and appointed him as leader of the Israelites. He told Moses to go to Pharaoh and demand that Pharaoh set the Israelites free.

“Then Moses answered and said, ‘What if they will not believe me, or listen to what I say?”

God told Moses to throw down his staff, and it turned into a snake. Then God told Moses to grab the snake by the tail and it turned back into a staff.
God told Moses to stick his hand in his shirt and it became leprous. Then God healed it. So God gave Moses several signs he could use if the people would not believe him.

In other words, God reminded Moses that if he would ignore the “What Ifs” and just do what he was told to do – then God would provide the power to get it done.

What about you? Any “What Ifs” that are holding you back?

God says, “I will teach you what you are to do” (Exodus 4:15b). He can help you take that first step and conquer the “What Ifs.”

2013 GateWay of Hope Ministries – The Helping Place for Hurting Women

13 Ways to Encourage Women

At GateWay of Hope, we help hurting women. So we are always looking for new ways to encourage women and provide hope.

Included below are 13 ways to encourage the women in your life:
1. Ask yourself, “What encourages me?” and then do that for another woman.

2. Learn her Love Language: words of affirmation, spending quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service or physical touch.

3. Share encouraging thoughts immediately when they come to mind.

4. Offer specific and practical help rather than asking, “What can I do?” When a woman is hurting, she often doesn’t know how you can help, so think of a creative and practical way to encourage her.

5. Write a note on a pretty card and snail mail it.

6. Invite her for coffee and celebrate being together.

7. Offer words of praise for anything she has done.

8. Remind her how much God loves her and how He delights over her with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

9. Realize the power of presence – just be with her.

10. If she is working on a large project, send her a single flower to encourage her at the beginning and a full bouquet when she completes the project.

11. Write a letter of commendation to her boss.

12. If she likes physical touch, give her hugs – often.

13. Notice the positive changes in her life and tell her, “I’m so proud of you!”

Any other ideas? How have others encouraged you?

2013 GateWay of Hope Ministries – The Helping Place for Hurting Women